Pessimistic at Best
Welcome to Pessimistic at Best, a podcast for those with a penchant for frequent frustrations, personal gripes, unpopular opinions, honest observations, and the like. Hosted by Sam, your resident Pessimistic Patty, this weekly show dares to ask the question—have we tried listening to women?
Each week, Sam sits down with a guest to explore the good, the bad, and the ugly. A surprisingly good country album by your favorite pop artist, a bad bang trim you gave yourself during a manic episode, a military homecoming video on the internet that made you ugly cry. The list is endless, and therein lies the beauty. Come on in, we saved you a seat!
Episodes
165 episodes
Bring Back Crossover Episodes
Picture this: the year is 2006, and Disney's three-episode crossover series 'That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana' is releasing its first episode at 8/7 central, and you're SAT, ready to witness a piece of history.James and I take to t...
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47:07
We’re All Afraid Our Kids Will Be Losers
We're all secretly afraid that our kids will be losers, and listen, I'm here to tell you that if that happened to me? I wouldn't talk to him either!James and I jump on the podcast to toast to bar games (think pool, darts, shuffleboard, y...
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56:33
The Breakfast Industrial Complex
Why did breakfast box itself into such narrow thinking? The day's most important meal could be so much more than eggs, if only we let it become fully realized!!!Sadie and I jump on the podcast to chat about nicknames we love, bike lanes ...
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1:13:43
Novelty Snacks
If there's a viral snack collab unfolding, Lilly is on the scene! Mountain Dew x Flamin’ Hot Cheetos? Sign her up. Swedish Fish Oreos? She's buying 'em, and nobody can stop her, damn it!Lilly and I take to the podcast to indulge in absur...
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1:23:56
A Biggie for Your Troubles
Who eats sardines straight from the tin, carries a wad of rubberband-bound singles, and is in “talks” with the Italian government? Depends on who's asking. Adam and I take to the podcast to toast to tinned fish, raise a stink about ...
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1:20:06
Sexy Unique Restaurant
It’s important to remember that the SUR experience has little to do with the food. Its true specialties lie in campy ambiance, overpriced cocktails, and the chance to share a room with some of reality TV’s messiest players—pure bliss!Ma...
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1:10:23
The Waterpark Capital of the World
Picture this: You're freshly thirteen, you've got your brand new Ocean Pacific swimsuit on, and you're patiently making your way up the wooden staircase with your tube in hand. What's waiting for you at the top, you ask? None other than the Wil...
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1:26:25
Wrestling Is the Straight Man’s Drag
Name something more c*nty than a giant chiseled man with a spray tan and platinum blonde blowout strutting to the ring in a bedazzled outfit to the tune of "Real American"—you can't!Rohan and I take to the podcast to celebrate grown men ...
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1:00:40
Just Scan the QR Code on the Table
If I have to use my own cellphone to pull up the menu at the restaurant, I'm clocking in because I work here now. I said what I said!James and I return to the podcast to celebrate Flow's Academy Award for Best Animated Feature (s/o to L...
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46:52
Feeling Insecure About My Water Bottle
I recently found myself feeling insecure about my Hydro during a Zoom call full of Stanleys and decided enough is enough! Screw your trendy water bottle! Unless you're still chewing on your Camelbak straw, like seriously, it's time to move on.<...
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39:55
Leaving It All on the Field
Picture this: The year is 2025 and you're making the active choice to jump back on the reading train after it dawns on you that you've forgotten how to do anything besides watch TV. Sound familiar? If so, you're safe here!Grace and I tak...
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1:22:33
Seafood Boil Mukbang
Have you ever been out to eat when your waiter suddenly goes missing, only to reappear on stage, mic in hand, bringing down the house? It's like, sure you wanted another martini, but ultimately you're happy they're having their moment!O...
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1:04:16
Gleek Hive Rise Up
Were you normal, or were you spending your iTunes gift cards on Glee covers? Don't worry, you're amongst friends! Donnie and I take to the podcast to celebrate authenticity, stress over our favorite strategy-based reality TV game sh...
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1:11:51
Breakfast Is Thrust Upon You
Brunch is something you plan in advance. It's an event you prepare for. Heck, you might even put on a cute outfit! Breakfast, on the other hand, is thrust upon you (whether you like it or not!)Luke and I take to the podcast to rejoice i...
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1:31:28
Death of the Mainstream
Everyone can be someone and anything can be cool — and isn't that beautiful? Sure, there will always be pop stars with seismic fanbases like Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but the "mainstream" is over, you heard it here first!James and I take...
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1:03:49
When Your Pants Get a Little Loose at the Knees
We're back, babies! And ever so grateful to be back in your ears each week. We missed you terribly — what a long two months it has truly been. Much to catch up on, so let's take it from the top!James and I take to the podcast to share o...
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46:00
You Seem Tired
Friendly reminder that the absolute worst thing you can do is tell someone they seem tired, it never goes over well. Instead, you could try, "You look like shit," or "What the hell is your problem." This week James and I take to the podcast to ...
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31:15
Becoming a Better Person
Great news team, becoming a better person is actually incredibly easy! Follow our 5-step process and you'll surely go straight to heaven or be reincarnated as something really cool or whatever. In this week's episode, James and I take to the po...
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40:16
What’s up with Delaware?
Have you ever been to the state of Delaware? Because me neither, and I have no designs on visiting! Devonte and I take to the podcast to celebrate finding fulfillment in our respective careers and shared community, to burst the bubble that is t...
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1:07:12
Weaponized Incompetence
Playing dumb is all fun and games until you're on the receiving end of such behavior — we said what we said! Aidan and I take to the podcast to sing the praises of our favorite fast-food chain (Taco Bell, duh!), deliberate over the appropriate ...
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1:28:38
The Quest to Become a Morning Person
Are you buying into the propaganda that morning people are more productive? Because we’ve sold our souls and signed on the dotted line. Manu and I are just a couple of night owls on the quest to become early risers and get that damn worm if it'...
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1:18:46
What Your Cracked iPhone Says About You
If you listen to this episode I'm sorry and if you make it all the way to the end something is literally wrong with you! Truly rubbing my last two brain cells together for this one, enter at your own risk! James and I take to the podcast to rel...
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50:53
We're Not Friends We're Business Partners
We're starting a support group for people who have had to execute a Facebook Marketplace pickup while viciously hungover—do you want in? Luke and I take to the podcast this week to chat about our favorite micro-influencers, our aversion to subm...
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1:11:29